Love me a crooner.
My 58-year-old Roomies
I’m in my mid-twenties and I embarrassingly still live at home. I know I’m not the only one who has had to make this awkward transition after college, but it doesn’t make me feel less ashamed when I tell people my age. I know I’m lucky to be living rent-free and having home-cooked meals on the reg. The tradeoff is that I’m pretty sure my parents still think of me as a sixteen-year-old with absolutely no life skills.
I should also mention that I am an adopted, only child from an Italian family. It’s a triple whammy because 1. They paid a lot of non-refundable money for me 2. I’m the end-all-be-all. They can’t replace me with another kid and 3. I am a woman, and women are completely helpless unless they are in the kitchen making ravioli.
Probably the most stressful part of living at home is actually trying to maintain a social/night life. My parents are total homebodies who don’t have many friends. Don’t feel bad. They like it that way. When I go out, I feel guilty before I even open the door to leave. Occasionally, I’ll get a “curfew” placed upon me. When I remind my parents I am about half way to 30 already, my Dad says something like, “well, only bad things can happen after 3 am.”
If I’m out at a bar, I’ll get texts (the worse technological tool I could have taught my parents) in which my mother will act as our dog. They’ll typically read “Ricky wants to know where u r” or “Ricky misses u and wants to kno when you’re coming home. I do 2 lv MOM.” If I don’t respond to “Ricky” and his inquiry, or say something snide like “I’m lying in a gutter, Ricky don’t tell MOM!” My mother will assume her identity again and start firing off angrier messages with threatening exclamation points. “Don’t drink n drive. Plz b Careful! Your life will b over if you get a DUI!!!!”
I’ve also pretty much forgotten about the idea of dating someone since living at home. When I did have a boyfriend when I first got out of college, it was obvious my parents knew they were in some sort of limbo when it came to monitoring our activities. Unlike when I was back in high school, they knew I was having sex and it was harder to pretend it just wasn’t happening. To counteract anything from going on under their roof, my Mother would re-enlist her favorite pawn, our dog. Instead of knocking on my bedroom door when my boyfriend was over, she would use Ricky’s paws to slowly push it open. Then, she’d just hover awkwardly in the entrance and ask, “So, what are you guys up to?” I know. It’s a great way to get in the mood.
The only reprieve/gift I’m given is when my parents decide to go on vacation. This weekend, the heavens once again opened when they went to Martha’s Vineyard. Even though my Mom got bombed out there, she still thought to warn me about drinking too much via text:
I really do adore my parents and don’t know how I’d be fairing without them. But I’ll probably be keeping you guys updated with their antics, because “my roommates” can be a whole lot to handle.
Things I Hate Monday: Life Edition
I’m in a dark place right now, a real dark place…
Responsibilities// Why can’t I just live? I don’t want to have things that I’m obliged to do. I want to do things because I want to do them, not cause I need to. But as they say, you can’t always get what you want and I’m no stranger to it.
Potential Employers Telling Me I “Need More Experience”// Fuck off. I’ve done internships and have had a job in my field of study, what the hell more do you want of me?! I’m 23, at what point could I have gained the 10+ years of experience you’re looking for and for an entry-level position at that. Just hire me and call it a day. And I know I’m not the only one, bet all of you job hunting TWSSees have heard “You’d be a great fit, but we decided to go with someone more experienced.”
People Telling Me How To Live// Last I checked there was no “right way” to live one’s life, back off bub.
Money// I only hate it cause I don’t have it, simple as that. And yes I realize it could be worse, so I don’t wanna hear it.
Not exactly a fitting pic, but it’s funny.
People That Take Things Too Literally// Not everything that someone says is meant to be offensive, take a chill pill.
Phone Convos With My Mom// Want to be reminded that you’re not where you want to be in life? Talk to my mom, she’ll ask all the wrong questions. Her general inquiries that aren’t meant to make you feel like shit, make you feel like shit.
It’s hard to see in here. Anyone else in this dark place with me? // Moseph@twssboston.com
I found my beer for the summer
I’m not big into summer seasonal beers. They either have no taste or you have to cut up a lemon to plop into the bottle. No thanks. I’m not a fan of putting fruit into my brew shakes. Luckily for me, someone handed me a Porch Rocker. It was awesome. I was pool side crushing these things. I’m not a beer nut so I have no idea how long these things have been out for. I hope it’s new this year because I would hate to think that I’ve been missing out on them for an extended period of time. If they’re old news, then I’m catching up on lost time. Cheers.
P.S. Can people stop telling me to try Bud Light Limes. They taste like ass.
New Music: Kelly Rowland
You know, I’ve really gained a lot of respect for Kelly recently. She’s finally coming into her own and not just living in Beyonce’s shadow. Doing things for herself.
This song fucking breaks my heart. I’m pretty sure a lot of women can relate to topic of this song. I know I can. And its morbidly chilling to sit here and listen to her bare her soul, knowing you’ve felt or feel exactly the same way.
Thank you Ms. Rowland.
p.s. here’s an extra that I don’t think many people have heard. Little bit of a sexy pick-me-up after that dark ass song.
“Crazy Ants” sound like fun
Invasive fire ants have been a thorn in the sides of Southerners for years. But another invasive species, the so-called “crazy” ant that many describe as being worse has arrived and is displacing fire ants in several places.
“When you talk to folks who live in the invaded areas, they tell you they want their fire ants back,” said Edward LeBrun, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, in a statement from the school. “Fire ants are in many ways very polite. They live in your yard. They form mounds and stay there, and they only interact with you if you step on their mound.
Crazy ants, on the other hand, “go everywhere,” invading homes and nesting in walls and crawlspaces, even damaging electrical equipment by swarming inside appliances.
A study published in the April issue of the journal Biological Invasions found that in areas infested with crazy ants, few to no fire ants were present. Exactly how they are able to outcompete fire ants is so far unknown. In areas with crazy ants, the researchers also found greatly diminished numbers of native ant species, according to the study.
There isn’t a place in the United States that I’d rather live in less than Texas. The last 3 news stories I’ve read about Texas involved tornadoes, an 800lb alligator and crazy ants. No thank you. That’s the nice thing about Massachusetts. The tradeoff for having shitty weather is that we’re very rarely killed by storms or animals.
And as far as the crazy ants are concerned, I’m rooting for them. Fire ants suck. I stepped on a nest last time I was in NC and I legit considered setting my leg on fire to get them off. Crazy always wins.
The early Hey Arnold episodes were kinda weird.
This still happens on facebook?
I’ll never understand the people who friend someone they’ve never met. One of the weirdest things you can do in 2013. And this girl is just so cavalier about it. “Yeah pretty much” I didn’t even have a comeback for that. Touche.
P.S. I accept most friend requests I get. Usually it’s someone who stalked me through the blog and managed to find my facebook, and as one facebook creep to another, I like to congratulate them. I always ask if I know them, and they say “lol no but I read your blog like every day”. But this girl is not one of those instances. This is just good old fashioned facebook weirdness. Yeah I know every girl reading this has a zillion stories like this, but it’s not as weird when a guy does it. Guys are weird. It’s way stranger when a girl does it.
Striclty Platonic Saturday: Tickle me.
Male or female to tickle torture me – m4w – 31 (Boston and around)
- Location: Boston and around
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 3779266820
Posted: 2013-05-18, 5:46AM EDT
I’ve come across a lot of bizarre fantasies during my saturday craigslist posts. Tickling might take the cake. Hate getting tickled. Hate it.
blogs you don’t wanna miss plus instagram of the week
If you take a cool picture of the Zakim, I’m probably gonna pick it.
New Blogger Aly On Twitter Trends// Aly started blogging this week. Pretty solid first week in my opinion.
Silas watches a first date// Watching a first date is the closest silas is gonna get to dating a real live girl.
EB’s Blog about dark places// I’m starting a kickstarter fund to buy EB a diary.
Mo posts pictures of her dog// Hey, this happened.
Definitive ranking of girl scout cookies// I caught a lot of heat from tagalong fans, saying I’m crazy to rank them 5. Tagalongs are what you buy when every other cookie is sold out.
Has anyone else heard this Pandora Commercial?
This commercial is pretty much the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life. When it first came on my Murphy Lee pandora station I couldn’t believe someone would actually make this dirty ass song into a song that would represent their company.
Literally just utterly bewildered and uncomfortable at the same time.
p.s. Do you think royalties are involved here?
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